Everyone else

My handsome first born. I love this kid.
The other day he came home from school and chatted with me in the kitchen while I made a snack.

"Mom, I'm embarrassed because we dont have a DS."

Huh?

"You know, video games. Like a Wii. Everybody has one except for me"

I don't think EVERYONE has one...in fact, I know they don't. But why are you embarrassed?

"Because my friends talk about it at lunch and I don't know what to say."

Talk about something else, like legos or something.

"They only want to talk about games."

Well, sorry kiddo, we're not getting a DS so that you have something to talk about at lunch.

He sighed and we went on to other things. But as I replayed our conversation in my mind, I realized that I had missed the chance to connect with him in a personal way, to relate to his heart. I was annoyed that he wanted to be like everyone else in this material sense. But then I thought back to 1987, and remembered how much I wanted Esprit and Guess clothes, and how embarrassed I was that we shopped at Goodwill. It was just as easy to want back then as it is now, for him and for me.

The next day I brought up our discussion again during a haircut. I told him about my own feeling left out as a kid when other kids had cool stuff and that even now, Mommy longs for things like a laundry room or a Kindle. I reminded him how much we love him and want good for him. I explained that video games are not the type of investments of time or money that we want to make right now as a family. And I admitted how fun they are, and that he could enjoy them at friends houses from time to time. I still felt a little lame. But he listened, and seemed to understand, as best as his little 6 year-old heart could.

Wanting to be like everyone else won't go away. Teaching him to reorient his heart (when it longs for the material, but really needs the eternal) is hard.
Im still learning it myself.